So you want your money?

Since reporting my woe's with getting payment from a client there were some requests about how I've dealt with the whole situation; mainly collection agencies. I'm no expert -- on almost anything -- but I've lived through quite a bit and this was my first serious "negotiation" (i.e. pissing match) with a client over payment that mere phone calls, emails and letters didn't resolve. Being a sole proprietor you get accustomed to varying degree's of payment schedules. My favorite is of course the pay up front kind. Since I've only had that happen 2 times, my other favorite is the pay within 30 days (from time of invoice) Then there are those "we'll pay you whenever we feel like it, if we feel like it ... bitch". And herein is where I am today. Here's the entire senario of what happened with me and led up to the "collection agency": Let's start with "the contact". "The contact" of said "closet" company -- from the time of sending the invoice to expecting payment -- had "fled" at some point. I first sent an email to said "close" compoany. When I didn't hear back after a week, I called. I learned "the contact" was gone and that I should resend the invoice to the "closet" company office. I didn't merely send, but I hand delivered the invoice to said "closet" company's office. Another 30 days goes by so I call "closet" people and leave a voice mail with some "closet" dude. I don't hear back for a week. I call again, wherein I get transfered between 3 "closet" people and then I'm hung up on. I send an email to a contact with at the "overlord" company and ask who I can contact regarding an invoice at "closet" office. She thankfully gives me a name (after about a week). I contact "new contact guy"; repeated. I only ever get the voicemail of "new contact guy" (and no call back). After a few weeks of no returned calls, I then hand deliver another invoice to the "overlord" company office. "New contact guy" never responds. So I write a letter detailing what I've done up to this point and what I will be doing on, around, through, under and to "closet" place and "overlord" joint after this point. I sent the letter registered and certified receipt mail (so I can pinpoint when "overlords" get it and whom signs for it). When I get confirmation from USPS that its arrived I give a hand-dandy new jiffy jolly phone call to "new contact guy" at "overlords r us" and let him know that the gloves are off. Which leads us to my post on Monday. I looked in the phone book and just looked at names that sounded cool and intimidating -- I went with one that sounded like a large legal firm.I contacted the collection agency, to which I filled out a few forms - regarding the payment, how long its been overdue/missing, the amount owed and information about the company that stiffed me. They told me they charged a flat fee ($90) for money recovered within 45 days (or their "Phase 1" plan), if "Phase 1" was unsuccessful then they went to "Phase 2" which involved their legal team - the fee jumped to a percentage (15%). "Phase 3" ... well, they never told me what "Phase 3" was, but I imagine it involved nose hairs, vice grips and vinegar -- but they did say that the amount I would owe them would never go over 25% (which isnt' too bad). Over the phone they asked more details about what happened and were very friendly. Overall, it was easy, nearly too easy. I think of collection agencies as spending the time in hassling your client that you dont't have to the time to waste doing -- plus they have the muscle of a legal team to threaten greater action. They are the protectors from the bullies in the business playground. Today I got my "first installment" of my "maybe almost probably" full payment. I'm retaining the services of the collection agency for the remaining amoung of the invoice (which I don't imagine "overlord" company has any intention of paying).