Rules of the road
Sunday June 11th 2006
by Paul Armstrong
There are a few rules of inevitability when traveling long distances (confined) in a van.
- 1) you will always leave approximitely 45 minutes later than you planned
- 2) your kids will be more hungry than starving polar bears (even though they will have exerted no energy all day long)
- 3) someone will blurt out "I have to POOOOOP!" 3 minutes after you left the gas station and emphatically asked no less than 18 times, "Does anyone have to go to the bathroom?"
- 4) after incessentantly repeating this one item ("don't forget the presents" ... "get the presents" ... "presents") and clearly out of "turn around and get it" range, you will remember that you forgot
- 5) while trying to get that extra mile of gas (well after the "low fuel" light has come on) you'll hit a stretch of highway at the end of the world. When you do find a "gas station", it'll have one 38 year old pump -- with no easy credit card insert quickly reader thingy or even a digital display, a creepy gas station guy and one uni-sex bathroom (the kind with the coin operated condom machines inside and the aroma of a zoo) AND for once your kids will voluntarily express their immediate and revolutionary need to go poop.
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