One Is The Lonliest Number

There's at least a few people in my life who acknowledge and relate to feeling alone in a group or crowd of people, probably more people feel this way than you may think. In my opinion it has a lot to do with our attempts and ability to truly connect with others. Relationships take effort and we have to make an effort to act on our good intentions, otherwise our intentions just remain thoughts and feelings and we never end up reaching out or doing anything (and I'm not talking about outreach and ministry; I'm talking about just plain old friendships - the things that breath life into our automatron bodies and minds, the fuel that keeps us going). Moving into action requires me to make that step towards picking up the phone once in a while, or making and keeping a date to get together, or writing that letter that has been sitting on my desk or piling up in my thoughts. Life takes effort and I often find that the first step is the hardest, and then comes "maintaining" the relationship. You can't leave it at only taking one step; others are meant to follow, as it is with toddlers taking their first steps, then creating them with the drive to follow with many more, until they're walking like a pro just a few years later. Personally, I find myself stumbling over that first step based on past hurts in relationships, such as those with my parents, that have given me that "once bitten twice shy" syndrome and I feel like I am still at the toddler level in my relationships. I need time and good experiences with safe people to build trust and I've been getting that in little doses over the past few years and it's been good but at times doesn't feel like enough. Finding and working on friendships takes work, patience, trust, good judgement, and most of all, time. I feel like a 5 year old starting all over again making friends, but it's worth it; I can't thrive alone. We need God, but God created us to crave relationships which is why he didn't keep the world population at 1. One definately is the loneliest number of all...............