Have You Forgotten How to Love Yourself?

It sounds so selfish; to love yourself. I find that it is harder to love myself than it is to love others, yet paradoxically, we can't truly love others if we don't know how to love ourselves. So, i get stuck in this battle and learned pattern of self-loathing. What does it look like to love myself? How do I give myself a break at the end of a truly exhausting day when I feel I cannot deal with one more outburst from my daughter, or redirect my son, or manage our money without giving it too much importance in our lives. Today I'm losing this battle.....maybe tomorrow I'll win. Days like this one can seem to last forever though as I desperately try to escape the depression. I talk to God begging for a way out; it's easier to escape than to deal with where we are, and like a good parent, He doesn't rescue me. I end up feeling like my son, Elliott, looking for the yogurt in the fridge; "mommy, I can't find it!" It's right there, Elliott -- right in front of your eyes." I don't get it for him; I patiently wait -- (this time) and watch as he finds it and goes about his business -- delighted in his accomplishment. It's amazing how we are so unable in the midst of our daily lives, to see. We walk around like the blind leading the blind. When I am patient with myself, forgiving of my mistakes, when I can rejoice in my triumphs, trust God, look for the positive, then maybe I'll get somewhere, and not only will my family feel my love, maybe I will too.