I like to smell my hands
Saturday September 8th 2007
by Paul Armstrong
I try to be candid and honest with whomever is out there reading about our life, family, struggles (as I've said before, there's nothing worse than feeling like you're alone, the only one experiencing something; and in most cases you are not). But in this case (which I'm about to lay bare), I'm pretty sure we are alone. On one hand its somewhat humorous, or endearing (no ... actually, its not) or small, and on the other its troubling, frustrating and odd.
I've always known that our kids will (most likely) be odd in certain ways. I'm odd; I'm highly sensitive to smells and textures, I'm tall, and probably a host of other things I myself don't even realize, its bound to rub off on your kids in ways you don't expect. Abigail walks like Frankenstein's monster and rocks back and forth (when working on homework, etc; mostly stemming from anxiety issues -- and as most of you know, we've been seeing professionals to help us with that). But now it seems that Elliott is developing his own, how shall I say it; idiosyncrasies.
We've known for a long time that Elliott is sensitive to smell, but lately that "sensitivity" has turned into an obsession. Compulsion. Whenever he touches something, he smells his hands (both of them, much like Mary Catherine Gallagher). Continually, near constantly throughout the day, you can catch him standing there with both is hands to his voice exploring a smell. His teacher has pointed it out, fearful that it will be distracting and maybe harmful (smelling glue, bad chemicals); I just wonder what would happen when he plays basketball (he catches the ball, drops it, smells his hands, the other team grabs the ball, goes the distance of the court and scores --- while Elliott still smells the sweat and leather on his hands). Elliott's also developed somewhat of a tick -- blinking (blinking hard and often; accompanied by a lip curl). It could be that his eyes are getting bad, that's my hope (as he seems to do it worse when watching something, or concentrating), but then again maybe its a compulsion or nervous habit.
Either way you look at it, we will probably have to send him to some specialist (like we do Abigail), to observe him for $150 an hour (which insurance may or may not cover), who may send us to another specialist, which has to consult with the school about how to "deal" with the behaviors, for years and years which may or may not help him, maybe. It seems the "oddities" of our kids piles up, and so do our therapy bills. Someday we may look back and laugh, right now I just pray our kids don't become "freaks".
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i liked to pick my nose and wipe the boogers on the walls when I was little. I also had a tick where I would move my glasses up my face using nothing but my nose - causing me to look like I was having mini facial seizures. Also, I went thru a phase once where I continually grunted in efforts to clear my throat - when there was no need to do so. I do not have any kids of my own, so this may not hold any clout, but, in my humble opinion...
Kids go thru things, they develop these little idiosyncrasies. They grow out of them. It's a part of growing up and discovering yourself. I don't see the need to pursue the advice of a "specialist" unless he's hurting someone or himself. I'm sure he'll turn out fine. I mean, I turned out alright.
I guess.
by luke
∞ Monday, September 10th, 2007
You're probably right, I do hope its a little phase, its 50/50. We thought Abigail and her moaning, walking, rocking would be a phase --- 7 years later, she still is doing it. So, the precedence (if you can have a precedence with one kid) is there. I just can't stop saying "Fresh face, superstar" whenever he does the hand smelling through.
by Paul
∞ Monday, September 10th, 2007
I used to have the finger smelling thing. I actually still do, but I can control it. It was weird. When I opened your site I realized my hand was on my face...
My biggest problem as a kid and it's still a nasty habit is biting the cuticles of my fingers. I used to do it obsessively to the point of infections. I hand a finger lanced twice, had hot sauce on my fingers, they bandaged my fingers. I grew out out of it for the most part, but when I get really stressed my fingers look like a war zone. I told Christie that she can tell how good my week has been by looking at my fingers.
by Renaud
∞ Monday, September 10th, 2007
I'm the same way with my fingernails Jim, I chew the crap out of them when I'm stressed or nervous. Horrible habit. I guess in some form that its obsessive, or an anxiety related action. Its not as distracting or odd as smelling your hands insensately.
I have a tendency to twirl my beard hair in my fingers (but only the hair on my chin) -- when I actually have a beard; and the hair all falls out and I get more patchy areas there (so now you know to look during Whiskerino).
I'd almost rather Elliott do something like that -- the hands to the face all the time is so obvious, so blatant, and so hard to "blend". It might pass, or it might not. He did the nose/pick flick or smear on the wall for a bit -- we'd find this brown pieces of cemented boogers on the wall in the bathroom or in his room.
I do feel better knowing that more people do odd things (than we're usually comfortable admitting). I wish I screamed obscenities randomly/compulsively (what a great excuse that'd be to curse some jerkface out)
by Paul
∞ Monday, September 10th, 2007
See? Everyone does weird things at some point. :-) some people never grow out of the nose-picking one, eh? heh heh
I'd say the other thing to parents is to not make it a BIG deal in front of him. For many reasons (reinforcing behaviors comes to mind). Can't hurt to check in with someone to find out how to cope with it and for him to find how to cope with whatever stress is underlying (New school year stuff maybe? I dunno). It's awesome that you guys know your kids well enough to notice changes in behaviors and that you want to do whatever you can to help them! Ok. I'm off the counselor clock now. Sorry. ;-)
by the sis
∞ Monday, September 10th, 2007
I was a weird kid. For starters, I used to bite my knuckles and smell them. I did this for years, to the point that my knuckles were entirely covered with thick calouses. I also obsessively did this thing with my throat that made my ears pop and looked like I was swallowing repeatedly. I also tapped on things constantly. That's just the beginning. I probably could have done with some counseling. I imagine that, as parents, you and Sonya just want to make sure that you're doing everything you can for your kids to ensure that they have happy, healthy lives. I think that's great.
by Mike
∞ Tuesday, September 11th, 2007