The one that doesn't much matter, but at least its new

Its never easy saying something. Not anything, but something. Something that might matter. Something that might make someone laugh or learn or cry or feel connected or uncomfortable or amused. Then you get stuck trying to find that matter, preoccupied with it, and you keep searching for it, and you give up doing anything for fear of not mattering. This isn't just a blog problem, this is life. Does it matter? Do you matter? Its common to wonder if what you do, who you are, why you are, how you are -- makes any difference, has any impact. If you're on the right path, if you're doing what you should, if you work is worthwhile or fulfilling, if what you believe about life, love, death, war, God, yourself matters. Will you have a legacy. Ultimately its all a way of saying, when you die, will the content of your past be passed. We all know what's important, maybe they don't all fall in the same order, but the list almost universally the same -- family, relationships, community, happiness. Are you doing what you ought to do? Fulfilled? Important? Connected to people? Does it help your community? Does it help your family? Does it impact others beyond yourself? You'll never find those fulfilled in a job, in your work (maybe glimpses, but never just your work alone -- if all your eggs are in that basket, then you might become a very lonely person. Hell, all I do is make meaningless things look decently ok, that will be seen by very few and forgotten just as quickly; that impact no one other than to try and convince them of something; buy this, use this, donate, read, etc.). I don't have the answers, though I feel like I'm on the right path. I'm taking responsibility, because who I am is a direct result of where I've been, and who I'll be is a direct result of where I'm going.